As some of you may remember, Japer, Texas, is a repeat destination for this High Flying Bird. While my previous trip was limited to the Ramada Inn and Andy’s Club, on this past visit, I experienced Jasper in all its summer sartorial splendor as I appeared in the 1st Judicial District Court of Jasper County, Texas.
So, what does a well-dressed lawyer wear in Jasper County in July? If you are a male, it’s seersucker, seersucker or seersucker. When I walked into the courtroom, there were four men dressed in light blue and khaki seersucker suits. Then there were the clients. What were the women attorneys wearing? Well, I was wearing a tan suit with a pink shirt. And leopard print shoes from Wal-Mart. Which brings me to the next question.
When you get to Jasper, the Jewel of the Forest but no shopping mecca, and realize at 7 a.m. that you have left your heels at home and your hearing starts in two hours, what do you do? Wear thongs with your suit? Or recall that there is a 24-hour Wal-Mart just down the road? I chose the latter course of action and decided to give Sam Walton’s shoe department a try. Between the tennis shoes, clogs and sandals, I came upon these little gems for a mere $12.74. Not my size, but ok because I won’t be wearing them for more than a couple of hours. Man-made soles and uppers that will likely begin squeeking with heavy wear, but only have to do for a short time for me. And my pants aren’t dragging the ground and I don’t totally look like I’m not wearing my own shoes. Leopard print is not necessarily what I would have picked for a Jasper courtroom, but most of the shoe is covered by the pant and I am not wearing thongs.
So off I go to court, where the Judge takes my motion under advisement, but does not admonish me for my footwear. In fact, one of the women—who had just obtained a D-I-V-O-R-C-E and was ready for some fun—actually complimented my kicks.
-- The Commish
