It's like this and like that and like this and uh

I’m all over the place today so please bear with me.

There is one place I will never, ever travel to in my life. It is exactly where Silda Spitzer was standing yesterday and Monday. I would have told him if he wanted a woman standing next to him when reading his prepared statements about cheating on me with a call girl, he could go hire himself one.

The BBC has a report that at least 50 people in southern India have damaged their sight by staring at the sun hoping to see a vision of the Virgin Mary. Uh people, your mother wasn’t kidding when she told you not to stare at the sun or you’d go blind. In fact, I’m sure the Virgin Mary gave that same sage motherly advice to Jesus back in the day.

Hey Southwest, here’s a wild idea. Why don’t you take the $50 you have started charging your passengers for a third checked bag and get your crappy planes inspected, mkay?

-- Haiku Hannah